An open letter to my Mom and Dad....

Dear Mom and Dad,

Today you celebrate 38 years of wedded life together. 38 years is unheard of in a world of divorce and irreconcilable differences. When you got married did you think about 38 years in the future?? Are you where you thought you’d be? Did it ever occur to you that two little girls were taking notes? I get excited to tell people how many years y’all have stuck it out for. You earned those years. You worked hard for those bragging rights. I know it’s not always been hearts and flowers, but just like any storm there is eventually a rainbow and you have to endure the storm to get to the gold at the end.

Your marriage has set an outline for “how to have a successful marriage.” Do you feel the heat? Do you feel the pressure? Don’t start sweating yet, I am not setting you up as marriage counselors. What I mean is you live your vows. When you stated until death do you part on August 24^th, 1979 you stuck to your word. You have held yourself and each other accountable.

I get so much joy at you laughing at each other! To my ear it may be the silliest conversation or joke, but one or both of you will be laughing and it makes me smile. It is a blessing to know that you both genuinely enjoy each other after 38 years!! Mom when we talked earlier this week and you told me that you and Dad were out driving around on Sunday it made me grin because people don’t do that! It’s uninterrupted time without distractions or an escape route. That freaks some people out. On the flip side on any given evening, Dad you will be in your chair watching tv and Mom is in a completely different room watching tv without y’all speaking 100 words to each other before you go to bed. Is that balance? Or just 38 years? I don’t know, but either way it works.

I’d be lying if I were to say I never hear you argue. Honestly, I’d have to be deaf. You are two different people who have different thoughts and perspectives even after 38 years of sharing a home together. Your marriage is not different from anyone else’s in that regard. However, no matter how heated an argument may get, you both seem to find a way to come together and resolve whatever the issue is. You don’t always agree, but the issue gets resolved.

I also think about the sacrifices made throughout the course of 38 years. Mom I think of you taking a two year old and baby to Church by herself because Dad was working. Dad I think of you coming home late after a long day and Shana and I already in bed and you going another day of not getting to see us. I know at some point in time you both went without something so Shana and I could have something. I am sure there are other sacrifices that I have no idea of, material or emotional, but you never complained about it. You never resented each other for it. In my mind sacrifice is huge in a marriage. Sacrifice is hard, there is no room for selfishness, it’s also not something that is forever, you do it to better another part of life and that is the reward. That is the payoff.

You are living your life together as you should be rather than just existing and floating along even at 38 years!! You are truly partners in life and that is encouraging, refreshing, and exciting to know it can be done! There is never a doubt in my mind that you don’t love each other even with all the deafening passionate arguments that occur from time to time. The love y’all committed to in front of God and family has continued through Shana and me. You continue to show us that marriage is work and to be successful you cannot be afraid to work. I look forward to that kind of work, I see the reward through y'all. I am ready to laugh, argue, and sacrifice my way to 38 years someday. 

Thank you for sticking to your word and showing it can be done! Thank you for working hard for our family. I love you both so much. Happy Anniversary!