Here we are
once again. A year since I started these writings of ramblings and thoughts.
Some of the posts have been brilliant, thank you very much, and some have been
rubbish. I’ve been watching The Great
British Baking Show and The Crown
on Netflix and I’m full of all sorts of proper words.
I don’t want to do a slow written montage of
the past year as that will take too long and you can go back and read the high
points, but I felt I should reflect as I am saying goodbye to level 35.
A small recap
on the last few weeks of 35, I am an Aunt again! Stella June made her way into
the world this month and is the prettiest girl!! Her parents better watch out. While
she was away at the hospital being born I was put on Jasper duty and boy did we
have fun! I am blessed and thankful by his presence in my life. He’s a joy to
be around and will be a wonderful big brother. His Mom and Dad I know are very
proud of him.
My fur
baby’s relationship is coming along. BabieCakes can still be a cranky old lady,
but Piston flat out does not care and beats along to her own drum. Again, if
you follow me on Instagram you see the shenanigans they can get into.
As I
concentrate, on one common theme from the last year what pops into my head:
“time is non-refundable. Use it with
intention”
This past
year of my life there has been loss that reminds me that we are not guaranteed
tomorrow. My heart fills with emotion as I think about the people that left
this world early for a heavenly one and it makes me ask myself, “am I living
and being the best version of myself?”
I can 100%
say no, not every day.
In the
moment of grief I often think, “I am going to do the things I’ve always wanted
to do.” “I am going to stop and take pause to enjoy this exact simple moment,”
and “I am not going to sweat the things I cannot control.” However, more often
than not life happens. Instead of being grateful for another day I’ve been
given, I tick the mental check-marks of the day ahead and before I know it a
month has passed by with little to no notice.
I am
terrified by the saying, “grab life by the horns.” Why? My evaluation of this means
no organization and no planning. This phrase may mean something completely
different to you and when I Googled it the search returned in regards to
professional grabbing life by the horns. I am in awe of people who consider the
world as their “home.” You know the type I am talking about. Those that live
day to day with what appears to be no concern for where they may sleep tonight
(my version of grabbing life by the horns). They seem so enlightened and really
living in the moment. How do they do that? How do I take a spec of that lifestyle
and transfer it to my own? Not so far as to not know where I am sleeping, but
to not panic if my day strays just a bit from normalcy. As I type that, I feel
like I just raised my hand and said, “Hi my name is Shelly and I am a control
freak.” To that I have, no comment.
Here is my
question. How do you “grab life by the horns?” Not workplace horns, but everyday
life horns to remind yourself that tomorrow is fleeting? How do you remind yourself
to be present now? This is an open call for suggestions!
I am not so
absentminded that I walk around oblivious to the wonderful moments around me. I
am a fairly reflective person (hello, blog much). I find the Holy Spirit in the
quiet times of the day and can be moved by the ordinary things of life. As I
have gotten older I find the trinkets, things, and stuff that once made me
happy in truth was an illusion of happiness. I don’t shop for that kind of
happiness any more. I create it around me. Life is far too short to put my
happiness in somebody else’s hands. The getting up early on a Saturday for
breakfast with Jarret and the going to my sisters after work for chats and
playtime with Jasper (and know Stella) are great examples and reminders that in
this life I am loved. It’s normalcy at its finest and time that is being used
with intention.
However, is
it enough? Meaning the birthday’s I am blessed with year after year is the
precious gift of time. Like my beloved Kate Spade purse I got one year as a
gift that I wore out, am I wearing out the time I am given? Dear Lord, I hope
so.
There always
things that stop us from doing something. Money, work, kids, obligations, and
the list can rattle on. I am not unhappy in life. Not even close, but instead
of worrying about how many calories are in my favorite piece of cake I am just
going to eat the cake.
Alright so
last year when I started the blog I made goals here are the goals for 36:
- Take a vacation. A real vacation. I need to go someplace I’ve never been, see something I’ve never seen.
- Really truly try not to sweat the things I cannot control. It’s not worth the stress and worry if I cannot change the outcome.
That’s it.
Goals are
good, but this year I am not going to fill my schedule with them instead I will
enjoy every second of everyday and though I may not understand, I need to
remember to trust in God’s plan and walk with him every day. As I have leveled
up to 36 I am reminded that there are some that don’t get to and to be thankful
for every day that God blesses me with.
Thank you
for all the Birthday wishes I felt them and it made my day splendid!! I am truly a blessed girl.
